Here is a solution: we have the power of choice to use anytime we want. So, why is it that most so-called normal people don’t choose to create a happier life?  I say it is a lack of emotional training.

Just as our muscles atrophy to the extent that laziness and circumstances of everyday life trample our chances of physical improvement, our chance of greater happiness also atrophies according to our choices.

How do we stretch our capacity for tolerance and emotional intelligence in stressful situations?

1. Breathe and relax
2. Focus on solution
3. Act

Breathe and relax

When I say 'breathe', I don’t mean the fast breathing most people usually do on a daily basis. I'm referring to a deep, even stunning inhalation that gives each cell of our body the feeling of rejuvenation. Breathing deeply makes us feel the chlorophyll touching us with a mild shock of electricity from its energy charge. This simple act brings an immediate emotional and physical benefit.

It is even better if you hold your breath within the belly (yes, in the belly, without fear of making the belly big or clumsy) for a few seconds or as much as you can trap air inside, and then release slowly, like a balloon being deflated. If you repeat this process three times (daily or in stressful situations) as I am suggesting, you will feel even better because of the relaxation this act will bring.

Focus on solution

Our inner dialogue is a powerful tool which can, depending on how we use it, attain happiness for most of our life or the opposite.

There are those who insist on focusing their thoughts on the problem allowing disturbing, negative feelings and situations to ruminate for hours, days and months within their brain and life. This only leads them to fade and perish because of the pressure this process afflicts life.

Here are two good examples: a couple who loved each other and suddenly one of them with an irresponsible action caused a sickening sadness in the heart and mind of the other.

Depending on that person’s choice she or he can spend days, months and even years torturing her/himself and friends talking about the person who hurt her or him. Question: Does talking repeatedly about the same subject improve the situation or change someone?

What is the solution? Forget that person and work on loving her/himself more? Or, learning the lesson, move toward healthier relationships? You decide: There are several choices to practise and to implement for your benefit.

Another good example was when I was at an ATM machine the other day with my mother and before she went to the machine asked me if I was not going to withdraw money to pay the builder. I said yes, but before I would do that I would have to personally go to the bank and ask for a transfer so I could have sufficient money in my account to use the machine to get money to pay the builder. An old man in his 80s who was standing behind me said:

“You are not a stressed person, I can tell ... I so want to be like that but can’t...”

I smiled because a stranger not knowing me could in a split second, have an opinion about me. I asked how he knew that.

“I can see it in your face, hear the tone of your voice and see how you react to life's difficulties. It seems that everything is resolved in your head and there is no need for anxiety about having to go crazy in the traffic all the way to the bank, facing the long line that will be there, losing a lot of time, even though you’re already here looking at the money machine.”

I smiled again and replied, -“the solution is not here, but taking action toward my goal after my mother completes the transaction “is”. What matters to me more than anything is to have the money to pay the builder. The process I have to submit myself to will not change with my emotional state, so I don’t let difficulties bother me much. Keeping my head cool helps me practise tolerance and determination to get what I want.”

He looked at me smiling and said he had some health problems because of the stress.

Action

Any decision we make will influence the result of our choices, therefore we must choose integrity when we make a decision. We can choose to be the candle in the darkness or let darkness extinguish our light, it's a matter of choice, isn’t it?

Being who I became in life, influenced that gentleman behind me at the ATM, as our conversation developed I could see in his eyes the desire and the curiosity to discover the power of choice within himself in order to improve his physical health.

I had a feeling that after our conversation his decisions would be more beneficial than before.

So, one more candle in the darkness was created within the collective stressed mass we live in.

We have the power to choose...

Yours in emotions

Lygya